Why Im afraid to speak in english

WHY AM I AFRAID TO SPEAK IN ENGLISH

Hi everybody! This time, I want to share with all of you about my weakness in my journey live life.

First of all, check out this video =)

Pu3; u all! I want to speak English with u all! Who want to join me?

Fatrah; sure!

Nelly; yup, ofcours I want!

Bella; can la..can..

Pu3; I like English language so much and I will try to speak with good even I can little bit, little bit

Azwan; stop it pu3! U sound like an idiot! Speak malay sudah..

Pu3; how could you said like that to me huh?!

Azwan; hey.. relax lah. You are the one who trying to speaking with me like an idiot. Oops! Sorry. I was just trying to help you out.

Pu3; but by calling me an idiot?!!! You will be my ex-best friend! It’s over!

Azwan; pu3,, pu3,, wait.. Come on… pu3!!

Since that tragedy, I decide to not say anything with him and other people and quiet from speaking in English language with other friends. I was worried about rumors spreading about me. I always feel people laughing behind my back. It was a horrible time in my life. I’m very afraid to speaking English.

I was tried to tell my lovely friends in email about my problem. He is very kind with me. Sometimes advising me and help me to improving my English. One day, I told him that I fear embarrassment when speaking in English. Then she told me like this  “relax Puteri, I have a Mexican friend who basically had the same problem. You don't need  to be embarrassed of your English. It is your second language, not your first right? Americans would most definitely have trouble learning Chinese. Lol. When in conversation, confidence doesn't matter when it comes to speaking a certain language. A language shouldn't be a charismatic goal, it's an educational one.. You've accomplished one of the hardest languages in the world (Chinese being the first, at that). People aren't going to make fun of your slip-ups in a conversation, they'll understand. :) They'll probably laugh with you, because it's funny (in a non-insulting way). You can also gain the confidence you desire by these mistakes. It's similar to, "you don't know how to ride a bike until your knee is bloody." I wish you luck on your next conversation, and congratulations on Learning English. :) Also, good luck on Slang in the English Language... hahahaha!! That's what makes this language so damn complicated. Lol. Hope this helps,  love you dear :) ”

Next is why am I afraid to speak in English is I feeling nervous in public speaking. Sometimes when I look at audience when present, I just acting like I good person in the same time my hands are shaking but not to noticeable and my knees are going week. That’s why I try to walking at the in front. Huhuhuhuu~

While watching television, at the bottom there is definitely a subtitle in English. However, I rarely read them. I only hear and see the story progress. I do not try to read  it because I'm afraid miss a scene. and when the English drama, I read subtitle wither. This makes me weak in the English language. I was afraid of. I'm afraid to try. By the way, I would have dramatically improved my  English language  in the future. I will share how I wanna improve my dream to speak in English in “What Should I Do To Improve My Public Speaking”  insyaAllah coming soon. ByeJ